relief as i'm back to myself! yeayyyy....

Lama tak menjengah.


Sorry, been busy. Drowned with workloads kat ofis and as well as helping out mama with my bro wedding prep.

Errr.i rindu sangat zaman wedding prep ni semua. Luckily I got abang yg nak kawen and being a guy, he really tak kisah on our plan *as long as tak menyusahkan dia*. but being adik yg suka menyebokkan diri, his wedding is consider macam part of my responsibility as well. Mama akan turn to me to ask for opinion and I’ve myself pun yang plan most of the wedding things.

I’m back to myself. So much like me now. No more all day sickness. But that doesn’t mean no-more-so-called-emergency-throw-out. The throw out is here and there. Tapi sangat jarang. Macam sekali seminggu or hari perlu mengada-ngada bila suami ada. Ahhaahhaha.. but yeah, I can stay back in office up to 8pm. I’m more energetic now. But food? I’m still fussy. I hardly makan nasik. Serious ni. I’m easily turn off kalau tengok nasi putih berlauk. Tekak hanya boleh terima nasi goreng sahaja. And nasi lemak still a big no-no. its not that I cant tahan the bau. I can makan the whole pinggan, but the aftermath? Adalah super scary. Ko nak tengok I muntah satu beg pestik besar, dipersilakan. But other than that? My appetite is back on track. We had blessed jalan-jalan cari makan in Melaka the other weekend. Being an awesome husband, haruslah keinginan bini dipenuhi. Ko mampu menolak kehendak ibu mengandung yang nak makan pun mood boleh swing? We had red chilli crab, sotong, udang, ikan bakar, otak-otak and the list goes on. Lepas tu, time mengukur jonker walk, both my hand swollen macam tangan emak gajah. Giler bengkak sampai nak bengkok jari tak boleh. Tak cakap lagi pasal kegatalannya. Well yes, I had this seafood allergy bugging me since I was small. Tapi ada I kisah? Laki punya la rungsing kan. He asked whether need to go to clinic, Whether we should stop strolling kat jonker walk and just head back to our hotel. Well, ko ingat I senang2 nak balik? I don’t care about the itchiness. I baru dapat kekuatan tubuh badan semula dan bernafsu nak merayap sana sini. Not as easy as that la kan. And yes, I Berjaya menawaf jonker walk untuk ke sekian kalinya. The swollen and itchy hand telah kembali pulih the next morning.

My shopping adrenaline is kicking back. Wahhh..not a good sign. For the past 2weeks ive bought myself 2 dress, 2 maternity pants and 2 prego blouse. Errrr… ingatkan time awal peknen nafsu tak suka shopping tu bersifat kekal. Ahhahahaha.. nasib jugak maternity pants adalah super sucks. Else maybe Ive bought more than what I need. Seriously I didn’t get it. Ntah pape ntah pesen maternity pants ni, material pun so-so lepas tu harga ridiculously expensive. I knew there is gap maternity jeans and few other brands, tapi kat mesia mane nak carik?and I had issue to find dress which suit my height and size. Well, to suit my height tu ada la jumpa, tapi plus the belly and since I tak la beli dress yg nak pakai sekarang je kan, another few more month to go to kena la consider jugak, which end up I think the dress will turn out funny by the time I nak pop-out nanti. Singkat kat depan. Blerghhh!

I’ve conquered 2/3 of our bed now. I need 5 pillows to make’s me comfortable to sleep. During weekdays adalah tidak mengapa, tetapi bila suami pulang? Kesian incik suami hanya mempunyai sedikit ruangan kecil. And I think I did turn out our bed macam kubu perang ada jugak. With pillows as the kubu. I plan to get one of those full body maternity pillows. Errr.. RM300 for a pillow. Hope the investment is worth it. Or at least kalau I pakai dari sekarang, I dapat pakai lebih lama compare kalau I beli nanti-nanti kan?
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Hubster just came back from another business trip at Singapore last night.

Me : sayang belikan I apa?

*giler..bini tak tau malu.*

Hubster : I belikan you something. Surpriseeee…


Me : you belikan I ape? Bagitau la..bagitau la…

*Nampak sangat bini ko tak penyabar kan?*

Hubster : mane bleh bagitau. Kata surprise. Weekend ni I bagi la.

Me : ala.. bagitau je la. I tak suka surprise2 ni. U belikan I cookies bengawan solo ek?


Hubster : ala..kan nama surprise. Kena la tunggu. Cookies tak belikan.

Me : mahal ke murah surprise tu?


Hubster : ahahhaha… *dalam hati mesti dah ngutuk bini kan?*

Ahhahahaha..fine! I sangat jujur. Ko mampu Tanya laki ko surprise tu mahal ke murah? But surprise is something should be worth waiting for. Kalau benda best nak la I menunggu. Tapi kalau so-so adalah kuciwa nanti. Errr.. adekah henbeg idaman?



 

not that bad!

Air gula is not that bad. *seriously*
ke i sorang in a million yang rasa the air gula still tolerable? no, this is not air gula air sirap tu ha. ni air gula pekat provided by klinik kesihatan.
well, i had MGTT test at klinik kesihatan. MGTT tu i tak sure fully stand for what. but the GTT tu stand for Glucose Tolerable Test.
kirenye dalam erti kata lain, how kentang is your body nak terima and digest gula. eh betul ke? ntah tak tau. main agak-agak je ni. nak lebih details, gi tanya doc korang. ni actually nak detect sama ada kena kencing manis during pregnancy as some woman mengalami kencing manis ketika mengandung.
well, the funny thing is different klinik kesihatan had different requirement on this MGTT. sebab my friend check up kat klinik kesihatan penang takde pun kene amik test ni. but here in senawang indah permai, diaorg dah buat requirement as long as you are 25years old, ko kena amik test ni even mak ayah takde history kencing manis. dah tu, kalau nak terlepas amik test ni, sile ngandung sebelum umur 25years old.

i ni tak de pun menuntut ilmu kebal ke ape, so korang tak yah nak buat spekulasi atau membuat gosip-gosip liar. Maybe Allah kesian kat i, laki jauh. nak buat test sensorang plak tu. dah la the night before dah kena pose. i ni kan spesies meknusia yang sopan. bila dia cakap kena puasa start 9pm, i dah tak makan dh pukul 9pm tu. sekali 9.30pm bleh plak muntah terbelahak. abes segala dinner keluar. lepas muntah perut lapar. dush! nak makan balik takut. takut sebab makan balik bleh buat test i sangkut ke kan. den tak nak repeat test ni. plak tu dengar orang kata, air gula ni tak sedap. bila minum boleh muntah-muntah. nanti dah muntah-muntah nurse suruh minum balik. scary ok scary. tido pun tak lena. pukul 4am terjaga. sebab mimpi i muntah minum air gula. T___T

7.40am dah terpacak kat klinik kesihatan. ko ingat dah awal? i adalah orang yg ke-15 nak buat test tu. errr.. yg no.1 ni dia overnite kat klinik ni ke? memula dia amik darah. and again, nurse kat sana semua macam terer nak mampus amik darah. tak rasa sakit pun. Alhamdulillah la. i ingat lagi when i amik darah somewhere early this year. amik darah kat private plak tu. tangan abes lenguh longlai lepas tu. yang ni relax je. dah amik darah kena minum air gula tu. kena minum depan nurse ek. ko jangan ada hati nak ngelat nak buang. dah la segelas besar tu ha dia bancuhkan. dengan lafaz bismillah and tarik nafas panjang i minum non stop. first round 2/3 gelas habis. 2nd round tarik napas terus habiskan. done! phew.
i duduk sekejap. sebab takut dizzy lepas minum. sekali tu adelah minah ni tengah minum bluek plak dekat situ. tak bleh trime kot tekak dia. and the 3 akak-akak yang tgh minum seiring terdorong untuk muntah juga. ini sudah bahaya! i cepat-cepat keluar. takut kang i terjerumus untuk muntah. pastu kena re-take the test. ahahahha...
while waiting for 2hrs lagi untuk amik darah, i balik rumah. i notice i start to feel dizzy. bantai tido kejap. nasib klinik kesihatan n rumah tak sampai 5minit. senang je nak pergi balik.
lepas amik darah yang 2nd time tu, terus masuk opis.
wahhhhh.. kedengaran superwoman kan?
so, moral of the story, jangan dengar ape orang cakap. kadang-kadang benda tu makin menakutkan diri kita sendiri. mungkin lain orang lain penerimaanya.
yelah, mungkin u lahir dengan darah power rangers. who knows kan?

well, bila suami jauh, not everything seems that very bad. well of course you wish hubster will always by your side 24/7. ada orang teman tido and whats not. but, i rasa bila suami jauh or some husband yang kerja which require him to be offshore berbulan-bulan, in a good way to trained us the wifey to be more independent. jangan manja sangat. i learnt to look after my car, change wiper, check minyak hitam and tangki air. i belajar tukar tayar kereta when my tyre decided to go flat. i belajar put aside the fear of long distance driving (seremban ke kedah and balik seremban balik bukan dekat ok! 5hrs drive one way). and you belajar menjadi lebih 'tough' - amik darah pun relaks. ahhahahaha...

Long weekends! yippy! ill be off till Tuesday. Wednesday baru balik opis.

will be spending the long weekend hereeee! with the whole extended family from my mom side. gler ramai okay. i bet we all bersaudara akan conquer this place. too bad, hubster tak dapat join. T___T.

Hubster will be on business trip *ehem, jangan lupa list pesanan i ye sayang*. sebagai ganti, we will have not so romantic weekend cum babymoon during new year once he return.

Cakap siang pandang-pandang.

well, i hardly talk about my journey on getting pregnant in my blog till i was finally conceived.
actually, i'm still scared to talk about it. i felt bad when some of my readers so happen still trying to get conceive will felt sad when i was blablabla talking about my pregnancy.
but still, i need to treasure my moment as mother to be too. so whoever may felt offended with my words/experiences, deeply sorry on that.

Conceived when your marriage is at 1yr and 7mnths old is nothing to bragged about when you are living in this community. instead of people tumpang gembira, there is still harsh word and unnecessary comments berkumandang macam langau. time before conceived tu dulu lagi la. ayat masing-masing sungguh la puaka kan. tapi i ni pun meknusia biasa. orang cakap, kita hadam. kita simpan. pastu kita nangis malam-malam. lepas tu kita saiko kat laki kita. pastu laki kita pun stress. lepas tu kita sama-sama stress.

ko ingat nak dapat anak ni senang?
macam ko pergi pasar "kak, bagi anak satu. nak yang putih2, cerdik pandai, mata bulat, kalau boleh macam aaron aziz".
ko ingat as easy as that?
kalau senang macam tu, dah berderet seploh dah anak i okay. senang je men beli kat pasar kan.
anak ni pun rezeki. same goes as your jodoh. macam kawan ko tak kawen-kawen lagi tu, dah belum rezeki dia. tak yah la nak sound-sound dia. unless dia memang dah duit berkepuk, and berkepit siang malam, menambah dosa, ko nak sound tu no hal la. ni kalau orang tu tak jumpa lagi the one, nak buat macam mana. takat 'kenen-kenen' kan tu no hal la. tapi toksah lelebih.

kadang-kadang bile bercakap, meknusia ni tak pikir panjang.
ye, mungkin bahagian ko mudah. first night je ko dah conceive. rezeki ko kan.
tapi tak perlu la ko sibuk bagi nasihat kat orang lain.
its happen to me once, ade la mamat kat kilang i ni. nak kata tak bijak, engineer jugak. kire belajar dh tinggi. he was married few months after mine and his wife was conceived right after that.
bleh nak bagi comment mcm nak kena bakar hidup-hidup depan i when i was congartulated him when his baby was born. "well, aku rasa laki ko bukan sharp shooter".
my heart was broken into pieces at that time. giler rasa menggigil kaki. oh, sedapnya mulut ko. ko cakap tak pakai otak agaknya, pakai lutut. ko ingat sperm tu leh jumpa egg kalau ko shoot baik punya mcm ko main dart? i was cursing deep down so badly. ahhahaha.. i pun keji. but whoever in my shoe pun akan feel the pain. ko nak condemn laki i?

well, lets say orang tu planning not to conceive awal-awal pun right after kawen.
salah ke? ko ke yg nak bg makan anak dia? ko ke nak belikan pampers and susu utk anak dia?
ewah sedap-sedap sound tak baik planning. who said so tak baik? everyone nak the best utk anak-anak dia. biarlah dia nak simpan duit dulu so that anak dia merasa naik stroller Stoke Xplory yg 5k tu. biarla dia simpan duit so dia bleh hire 2 maids sekaligus jaga anak dia. salah ke dia nak buat yg terbaik utk family dia? time tu ko cakap tak baik la planning, dah tu time orang lain terus dapat anak no.2 dan seterusnya pandai plak ko cakap, 'eh, dia ni tak reti nak planning ke. sian anak kecik lagi dah dapat adik'. tu ape name? bukan planning gak ke ko tu pun? Yang memandai cakap tak baik planing, nanti by the time nak, Allah tak nak bagi rezeki. sape cakap? ade ke dalam Quran bnde tu? Allah pun tak nak kita menganiaya anak kita. kalau kita dah rasa tak mampu dari segi ekonomi or tak de masa masa utk bersama anak. So, planning might be the best option for us that time.

kalau nak di listkan harsh words yang i terime saban hari before this, memang tak terlist la. kadang-kadang, i ignore, kadang-kadang, makan dalam jugak.

yesterday, i finally buat buku merah at klinik kesihatan. i was sitting next to this akak. she was approaching 40yrs old and it was her first baby. she didnt tell me in details but i can agak-agak she was conceive through IVF/IUI because she did mention about the inject sana sini nak dapat anak. there is another akak around mid 30's sitting next to her after that. tanya akak yg sebelah i ni check up apa. akak sebelah i ni pun bagitau la, she had some complications, darah tinggi and kencing manis yg tetibe wujud when she was pregnant. ko tau ape akak yg satu lagi tu reply? "len kali, ngandung muda-muda. dah tua-tua ni macam la sakit yg ada nanti". i was stunned with her words.
1st, u dont know her history.
2nd, itu rezeki ok. rezeki. dah Allah nak bagi dia time umor 40tahun baru nak dapat anak.
bak kata another fren of mine, "bukan dia mintak doa kat allah, "ya allah,bagi la aku anak time aku umur 40tahun nanti ye". ko ingat ade ke orang yg nak cenggitu?
well, the akak in her mid 30's tu expecting her baby no.4.

kadang-kadang orang tak paham. kurang peka dan kurang sensitip. isu jodoh and anak ni super sensitip.
this is not a race nor a competition.
ini bahagian masing-masing. alhamdulillah, i had mine on its way. but im still praying for those friends of mine yg still struggling to conceive.
as meknusia, i paham sikap curiosity korang yang menggunung tinggi tu. in another word, kepochi aka concern. kalau org dh kwen sure korang excited nak tau dah berbadan dua ke tak. itu normal.
tapi lets say the other side belum lagi peknen, just cakap je la " i doakan u dpt anak yg sihat nanti", "takpe, allah nak bagi masa u enjoy dulu. insyallah adalah tu nanti". benda2 ni pun dah dapat menyedapkan hati org tu. at least u pray for them kan.

and those yg ada in my fb, thank u bg comment2 membina. i tak leh nak reply satu2 sebab i as well masih fragile with this sensitive issue.

p/s : baby check list belum buat lagi. can we skip that 1st? i need a 'babymoon' so badly now.