Cakap siang pandang-pandang.

well, i hardly talk about my journey on getting pregnant in my blog till i was finally conceived.
actually, i'm still scared to talk about it. i felt bad when some of my readers so happen still trying to get conceive will felt sad when i was blablabla talking about my pregnancy.
but still, i need to treasure my moment as mother to be too. so whoever may felt offended with my words/experiences, deeply sorry on that.

Conceived when your marriage is at 1yr and 7mnths old is nothing to bragged about when you are living in this community. instead of people tumpang gembira, there is still harsh word and unnecessary comments berkumandang macam langau. time before conceived tu dulu lagi la. ayat masing-masing sungguh la puaka kan. tapi i ni pun meknusia biasa. orang cakap, kita hadam. kita simpan. pastu kita nangis malam-malam. lepas tu kita saiko kat laki kita. pastu laki kita pun stress. lepas tu kita sama-sama stress.

ko ingat nak dapat anak ni senang?
macam ko pergi pasar "kak, bagi anak satu. nak yang putih2, cerdik pandai, mata bulat, kalau boleh macam aaron aziz".
ko ingat as easy as that?
kalau senang macam tu, dah berderet seploh dah anak i okay. senang je men beli kat pasar kan.
anak ni pun rezeki. same goes as your jodoh. macam kawan ko tak kawen-kawen lagi tu, dah belum rezeki dia. tak yah la nak sound-sound dia. unless dia memang dah duit berkepuk, and berkepit siang malam, menambah dosa, ko nak sound tu no hal la. ni kalau orang tu tak jumpa lagi the one, nak buat macam mana. takat 'kenen-kenen' kan tu no hal la. tapi toksah lelebih.

kadang-kadang bile bercakap, meknusia ni tak pikir panjang.
ye, mungkin bahagian ko mudah. first night je ko dah conceive. rezeki ko kan.
tapi tak perlu la ko sibuk bagi nasihat kat orang lain.
its happen to me once, ade la mamat kat kilang i ni. nak kata tak bijak, engineer jugak. kire belajar dh tinggi. he was married few months after mine and his wife was conceived right after that.
bleh nak bagi comment mcm nak kena bakar hidup-hidup depan i when i was congartulated him when his baby was born. "well, aku rasa laki ko bukan sharp shooter".
my heart was broken into pieces at that time. giler rasa menggigil kaki. oh, sedapnya mulut ko. ko cakap tak pakai otak agaknya, pakai lutut. ko ingat sperm tu leh jumpa egg kalau ko shoot baik punya mcm ko main dart? i was cursing deep down so badly. ahhahaha.. i pun keji. but whoever in my shoe pun akan feel the pain. ko nak condemn laki i?

well, lets say orang tu planning not to conceive awal-awal pun right after kawen.
salah ke? ko ke yg nak bg makan anak dia? ko ke nak belikan pampers and susu utk anak dia?
ewah sedap-sedap sound tak baik planning. who said so tak baik? everyone nak the best utk anak-anak dia. biarlah dia nak simpan duit dulu so that anak dia merasa naik stroller Stoke Xplory yg 5k tu. biarla dia simpan duit so dia bleh hire 2 maids sekaligus jaga anak dia. salah ke dia nak buat yg terbaik utk family dia? time tu ko cakap tak baik la planning, dah tu time orang lain terus dapat anak no.2 dan seterusnya pandai plak ko cakap, 'eh, dia ni tak reti nak planning ke. sian anak kecik lagi dah dapat adik'. tu ape name? bukan planning gak ke ko tu pun? Yang memandai cakap tak baik planing, nanti by the time nak, Allah tak nak bagi rezeki. sape cakap? ade ke dalam Quran bnde tu? Allah pun tak nak kita menganiaya anak kita. kalau kita dah rasa tak mampu dari segi ekonomi or tak de masa masa utk bersama anak. So, planning might be the best option for us that time.

kalau nak di listkan harsh words yang i terime saban hari before this, memang tak terlist la. kadang-kadang, i ignore, kadang-kadang, makan dalam jugak.

yesterday, i finally buat buku merah at klinik kesihatan. i was sitting next to this akak. she was approaching 40yrs old and it was her first baby. she didnt tell me in details but i can agak-agak she was conceive through IVF/IUI because she did mention about the inject sana sini nak dapat anak. there is another akak around mid 30's sitting next to her after that. tanya akak yg sebelah i ni check up apa. akak sebelah i ni pun bagitau la, she had some complications, darah tinggi and kencing manis yg tetibe wujud when she was pregnant. ko tau ape akak yg satu lagi tu reply? "len kali, ngandung muda-muda. dah tua-tua ni macam la sakit yg ada nanti". i was stunned with her words.
1st, u dont know her history.
2nd, itu rezeki ok. rezeki. dah Allah nak bagi dia time umor 40tahun baru nak dapat anak.
bak kata another fren of mine, "bukan dia mintak doa kat allah, "ya allah,bagi la aku anak time aku umur 40tahun nanti ye". ko ingat ade ke orang yg nak cenggitu?
well, the akak in her mid 30's tu expecting her baby no.4.

kadang-kadang orang tak paham. kurang peka dan kurang sensitip. isu jodoh and anak ni super sensitip.
this is not a race nor a competition.
ini bahagian masing-masing. alhamdulillah, i had mine on its way. but im still praying for those friends of mine yg still struggling to conceive.
as meknusia, i paham sikap curiosity korang yang menggunung tinggi tu. in another word, kepochi aka concern. kalau org dh kwen sure korang excited nak tau dah berbadan dua ke tak. itu normal.
tapi lets say the other side belum lagi peknen, just cakap je la " i doakan u dpt anak yg sihat nanti", "takpe, allah nak bagi masa u enjoy dulu. insyallah adalah tu nanti". benda2 ni pun dah dapat menyedapkan hati org tu. at least u pray for them kan.

and those yg ada in my fb, thank u bg comment2 membina. i tak leh nak reply satu2 sebab i as well masih fragile with this sensitive issue.

p/s : baby check list belum buat lagi. can we skip that 1st? i need a 'babymoon' so badly now.

hello 2nd trimester.

Dear Abandoned blog,

deeply sorry on being MIA. blame the workloads and so does the hormones.


i'm at 2nd trimester now. Alhamdulillah! Being pregnant with hubster hundres miles away is the most challenging experience ever! *nada serious*.
ko muntah, ko lap sendiri, ko basuh sendiri. ko ngidam, ko cari sendiri makanan. kalau tunggu laki, weekend kang bru ko merasa.
jiwa harus kental, mental dan body juga harus tough.

Though i'm already at 2nd trimester, the all-day-sickness still kicking but not as frequent or as bad as when i was in 1st trimester. the 'muntah' is lesser and more bearable now.
at 14weeks, saya adalah pembenci tegar nasi lemak dan sambal tumis. ko mampu? padahal dulu sebelum ngandung, every wiken bekfes harus la nasi lemak. even ahkak rumah atas masak sambal tumis, berbakul2 i menyumpah dlm hati. the smell itself membuatkan i loya.
jeruk and asam juga is my nightmare. when everyone enjoy eating those masam-masam thing during pregnancy, my tekak just cant take it. weird huh?
i hardly makan nasik now. once or twice a week is more than enough.
i've become more picky with foods. tekak hanya nak spagethi, lasagna, burger, cheesy wedges, macaroni cheese and anything to do with cheese. ko mampu? kalau anak esok keluar mata biru and rambut blond i tak terkejut la sangat.

Buku merah masih belum di buat. in case some of you yg masih lagi wonder what is buku merah, buku merah adalah buku rekod kesihatan ibu dan anak. so much drama at the klinik kesihatan senawang last week which membuatkan i give up dan tak bersedia nak buat lagi. i didnt plan to deliver in gomen, however, due to cakap-cakap orang "in case of something happen and without buku merah hospital gomen tak terima you as patient" membuatkan jantung i tak tenang. err, means I had to do check up both at gomen and private to be on the safe side.
even though per appointment at the private will easily reach up to rm150+, but compare the hassle and masa yg terbuang, its truly worth it. seriously, i had appointment with my O&G every two weeks until i reached 2nd trimester. ko kire je bpe byk kne byr if every appointment cost rm150+. no, its not that i had complication or whats not (alhamdulillah so far takde), but knowing my working pressure, working environment, the fact that i was staying on my own on weekdays and travelling here and there almost every weekend, my O&G suggested that its best to monitor my pregnancy in every 2weeks. consider closely monitor la kan.

the recent visit to O&G adalah sangat taching wa cakap lu. our baby are busy scratching its back dan melakukan lompatan setempat. *nak nanges tengok ni weh*
"wow..your baby is very long. its seems full"*refering to space in my womb. err.. the doc mention about the baby size which is two weeks ahead the actual age. gulp! so, the doc request to take supplemen in alternate days. takut baby over stimulate kot la kan with the supplemen. padahal, the only supplemen yg i makan pun folic acid, spirulina and susu je pun. maybe should skip drinking milk. hahahhaha... no wonder my baby bump is showing now and everyone seems notice on my bump or maybe sebenarnya dieorg ingat i buncit T____T.

the heartburn is the biggest turn off. sumpah rasa sangat annoying nak nanges whenever heartburn mengganggu. and again, my O&G is my superhero. he ask me to try on spirulina. Seriously, spirulina works wonder to cure the heartburn. and yet, its natural! else, i was a bit worried nak telan gaviscon dan seumpamanya. sebab it still consist of ubat which is also chemical kan? ke i je overreact?

will cerita about how i find out i was pregnant in next post. ini janji kosong. bukan janji sumpah sehidup semati. jadi kalau berkesempatan i cerita ye.

till then,
hugs and kisses!

Quickie!

Whoever yang bagi nama “morning sickness” barangkali mungkin seorang yang berjantina lelaki. Ini saya suspek. Bukan fakta yang pasti.


Sebab there is no such thing as morning sickness. Nope… it’s supposed to be “all-day-sickness” .

Dizzy, nausea, muntah terbelahak, dari pagi sehingga ke malam before melelapkan mata.

Tak, saya tidak mengeluh or even merungut. It’s just that, I thought all this while I was mentally and physically prepared for this. Ingatkan muntah its just a muntah-muntah macam kena food poisoning or gastric. But seriously, mabuk, mual, muntah and whatever combo yang dinikmati adalah beyond my imagination.

The first two months adalah sangat manis. Muntah pun tidak pernah. Ape tah lagi mabuk. Ko cakap je nak makan apa, semua bleh masuk. Sangat bangga bahawa saya adalah morning-sickness-free. Ibu mertua juga sedikit kagum. sebab menantu masih ok tak muntah sebab ketika beliau di awal kehamilan beliau mabuk sehingga flat. Tetapi....Langit tak selalunya cerah. Masuk 8 weeks, adalah sukar digambarkan dengan kata2. Mood kembali insof.

I must said, it’s a bitter sweet experience to be a mom. In another manner Allah nak ingatkan kita betapa besar jasa omak kita selama ni. So, jangan jadi derhaka. Sila la belanja mak-mak you all dengan lebih kerap. Kalau ko bawak enbeg LV, ape la sangat belikan mak sebijik juga kan. Ewah, ko ingat ko sorang je nak cun mak ko tak payah? Takpe, whatever combo delight yang Allah nak bagi, I terima dengan hati dan tangan terbuka.

Well, drama kunci kereta telah berakhir. walaupun kunci kereta Berjaya dijumpai setelah sesorang mencampakkanya semula didepan pintu rumah bersama-sama dengan announcement yg I tampal di kwsan tangga, tapi duit tetap terbang. Rm400 noks nak tukar board tu sebab bateri kereta dah di remove dr kereta more than 2 days. So the board dah kong. Silap I jugak. Doa mintak kat Allah supaya kunci kereta dipulangkan. Cuba doa panjang sket. Kunci kereta dipulangkan tanpa sesen pun duit perlu dikeluarkan. Tapi takpe, syukur gak la dari nak keluarkan duhet smpi riban nak tukar semua kan? Sapa suruh penyakit pelupa yang critical.

Bercuti 4 hari adalah tidak mencukupi. Eh, korang tak cuti ye? I cuti. Shut down sebab deepavali. Ko ada deepavali cuti 4hari? Sila la jeles ye. So I fly back to north on Saturday. Thursday evening fly balik semula ke seremban ditemani suami. Suami amik cuti. Dia mana da shutdown sebab deepavali. Saturday and Sunday berjimba-jimba di Nilai. Kazen merangkap pengapit time I kawen mengkahwinkan diri beliau. Well cuzzie, welkam to the club! Jaga anak orang molek2. My makcik-makcik bersoksek-soksek right after his akad “wah, Fuad bagus la. Sekali lafaz je”. Of kos la kan sekali lafaz je. Dah 9 tahun kot dieorang tu bercintun. Dari zaman form4 lagi. Dah tu tak reti-reti nak hafal akad tu plak kan. Above all, he is the best cuzzie. Cuzzie yg sebaya umor and sama senteng. To Alia, jaga cuzzie saya elok2. Bagi dia makan sampai dia gemok balik macam dulu. Saya rasa terhina bila dia makin kurus sekarang ini. gamba belum ada mood nak upload.

Sekian sahaja update buat kali ini.

p/s: saya asyik nak makan keropok lekor! nyum..nyum..