size does matter?

Benci....bencii....benciiii.... yup..sgt benci. seperti entry sebelum ini, saya masih bergelut dengan isu size badan. hellll!!! kenapa semua org sibuk sangat nak kata pasal berat bdn saya? ya saya gemuk. saya plus size, and kenapa anda terlalu kisah utk membicarakan ttg ini? damn! salah ke jadi gemuk? helllooooo saya bukan obese pun. maybe besar drpd org len. tapi bukan abnormal. i still leh dapatkan baju kalau nak beli kat mana2 pun. tapi semua org yg super skinny tu je ke consider lawa? consider normal? saya sangat kecik ati saat ini. emo terlebih. mungkin sebab period. sigh. ok, i hate when one of my auntie ckp badan i gemuk macam makcik2. ok maybe it just a joke. tapi when it comes from your own relatives especially bile your own mama cakap u gemuk how do u feel? for the past two days i dh berpuluh-puluh puluh kali dh nangis. huh...sgt menghiris hati ok. its not that saya tidak mencuba, but it just the fat yg sgt degil. what you guys expecting from me? buat lippo suction so that saya akan jadi super skinny and memuaskan hati anda semua? tak boleh ke saya happy with my size now? bukannye kalau saya gemok saya kena mintak tolong anda semua angkat saya pergi kemana2 pun kan? saya yang angkat badan sendiri. kenapa perlu comment pasal isu-isu sensitip ni? its not funny pun kalau korang just bergurau. because of this i almost gerak balik Kulim in the middle of nite. luckily my incik hafiz was there. and why everyone so bother pasal my size sedangkan yg nak kawen dengan saya is incik hafiz and bukan korang pun. kalau gemuk ke...kalau hodoh ke...bini hafiz...bukan bini korang la pun. My incik hafiz never ever mention about the weight issue. see!! he knew how much i tried before tapi dah tak boleh nak kurus mcm org len nk buat cmne. he didnt even comment i chubby ke, mcm belon ke. everytime saya ckp saya gemok and bla..bla..bla.. die just ckp "syg, you are fine. just fine!". i noe..i noe..die cume nak sedapkan hati saya. but kalau betul pun korang jeles ke ape? terime la seadenye.. tak leh ke? since sgt berduka-cita harini i just took bfast and skip lunch. at 3pm perut dh lapa gler and dh tak leh focus nak buat kerje. just buat nestum so that tak lapa sangat. lepas ni tak kisah la nak gastrik ke ape ke...pasal hospital smpi kne drip pun i dont care. since semua org nk sgt saya ni kurus mcm dulu, korng le jaga saya kat hospital nnt ye. ohhh..mungkin lepas balik keje leh singgah farmasi and telan semua jenis pil kurus. tak kisah la side effect ke ape, asalkan kuruihhhh kan?

back to office!!

weeee.... tak berkesempatan nak update blog lately. bz skettt. loading products dh kembali normal means kerja dah kembali banyak. incik hafiz dan saya melakukan kerja gila pagi tadi. kiteorg drive all the way from klang to kulim at 5am in the morning. scary marry ok. incik hafiz bwk laju gler. and teringat ble anne ckp pasal drh manis. and also zai ada ckp pasal thing darah manis things. aiyak!! alhamdulillah tak jadi pape. so, weekend spent kat my hometown kat klang. rindu sama mama n ayah! incik hafiz aka my driver aka bodyguard aka banker ikut sekali. survey for the wedding preparation. our plan memule nak balik yesterday (sunday) nite. tapi since both of us dh penat berjalan, mama tak bagi balik. bhye lagipun kan malam2. then pagi td tunggang-langgang la drive. masuk opis pkl 8.50pg. naseb bos memahami! tp jgn tiru gaya kami ni eh. boleh bikin sakit jantung and batu karang. batu karang tu sbb kiteorg mls nak stop kt R&R tepaksa la thn kencing smpi ke opis. tak senonot bukan? so, ini la aktiviti weekend kiteorg; Saturday Kiteorg pergi ke Kerja Kahwin 2009. Pergi dgn my mama, my sis, wafeeq & min and oso incik hafiz. Wahhh..kepada bakal pengantin you guys SHOULD pergi this exhibition. sgt bagus!!! semua wedding planner, wedding house, photographer, etc ada kat sini. my mama even do the food testing. byk choice tau. and all the cakes sgt menjejehkan air liur. since saya ni sgt bijak telah meng'advise' incik hafiz utk tidak bwk camera. eheheh.. saya mmg bongek! kunun2 sebab mls nk pegang la. then end up amik gmba pki camera phone. sgt2 rugi!!! and terjumpe ngn my fren time matriks dulu. waaahhh... die pun nak kawen gk. kteorg jmpe time sama2 kat booth wedding card. byk nye choice of wedding card nih. sampai juling mata nk tgk. tp above all asenye paling susah nak pilih is wedding card n the door gift. asenye ni la paling merungsingkan hati bonda saya. maybe different people have different perspective psl wedding card. tapi bg saya simple je. wedding card adalah sesuatu yg orang TAK AKAN simpan. as long as the details is there, map, date etc. and thats it, tak perlu la hard cover la, super fancy yg sekeping smpi rm5. wah...kalau jemputan korang tkt 200org kawen kat hotel tu logik la nk card mhl2. tp kalau jemputan 1000org,agak2 logik ke nk wedding card rm5? eeeee.....ase membazir. opss! maybe korng yg berharta lebey tu tak la terasa sgt mcm saya yg duit cukup2 je kan. since wedding card ni duit ayahanda, and saya merasakan wedding card ni tak perlu la vogue2 sgt (cukup sesedap mata memandang), we end up jmpe satu card yg both mama and i agreed upon. card yg sgt simple yet classic. ok, even though i'm looking for cheap-type-wedding-card tp obviously ada requirement saya sendiri la.

1. tak mo share2 card dgn incik hafiz!!! tak suke la... (so, dah kire pembaziran disini)
2. tak suke print type card yg glossy ada gambar2 bagai. suke classic card yg ada emboss and hot stamping (istilah baru belajar selepas mendalami apa itu wedding card(
3. nak either white or maroon SAHAJA!
4. nak additional paper kat dalam. tak mo print kat atas card tu. (sometime tak nampak sgt tulisan and for me kureng menarik!)
5. tak nak yg empat segi sama, nak empat segi tepat punye type. consider kurus panjang. tapi tak nak menegak, nak die melintang and flip mcm buku tu.

Byk ke requirement tu? bukan senang la nak kawen ni. saya baru je discover psl this. sgt2 tough la. nak kne buat milestone tracking mcm buat project plak.

Ni ade jumpe kad yg sgt sempoi kat tenet. cube korng bace. lawak gaban tuh! bayangkan saya buat cmni. jeng..jeng..jeng...mau kne hempuk dgn Hajah Habibah

Then after lepak berjam-jam kat Kerja Kahwin exhibition tu, kiteorg heading ke Pavillion.

Mcm biase, time2 sale ni sgt benci utk masuk. mudah tergoda. tapi bila terkenangkan al-kisah diri ku ini yg terlebih gatal nak kawen, kuat2 kan la semangat nih utk ignore godaan and tulisan SALE..SALE...SALE... tuh.

fuhh...

Sunday

And Sunday, mama telah drag incik hafiz dan saya pergi curtain hunting plak. curtain utk bilik saya je sepatutnye. ntah mcm mana mama ni leh beli curtain dapur sekali. biase la, like mother like daughter. ada je addtional un-planned thing dibeli.

and the best thing is? kiteorg dah decide nak bagi apa for the doorgift. tak ramai kot bagi doorgift nih sbb this is what my mom had planned all this while. and finally bakal dilaksanakan dgn few modification due to budget constrain. so, korng dtg la my wedding nanti so dapat la door gift nih. saya pun sangat happy sebab door gift ni for me menarik and hope korng akan simpan tak seperti door gift lain. ngeh3...sebab selalunye door gift yg not so relevant ni saya suka je utk buang. saya memang terok!!! hikhikhik....

kisah cinta lagi....

Exactly!!! we've been engaged for 1month, 1 week and 2 days as off today. Wahhhh... cepat sangat rasa berlalu. macam baru semalam kiteorg busy dengan preparation and now tgh prepare for the wedding plak. izin laluan...izin laluan.. saya perlukan ruang untuk bernafas. wedding preparation lebih tough!! Hope semuanya jalan mcm di rancang. insya-allah. After a month, i still could not figure out ape yg di katakan dgn darah manis. yup..yup.. still wonder what it is suppose to be. Here is a sweet love story which saya nak share with all. Receive this email awal pagi tadi. and this story had made me thought a lot dlm my relationship. yup!! soo many things we've been through as a couple. hope we could survive till the last breath. It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. This one I thought I could share with you. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did. 'Life isn' t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.' Rasa-rasa, Incik Hafiz akan jaga saya macam ni tak? errmmm..rasanya ye kot. saya je ni ntah dapat buat ntah tidak macam ni.