oh no!! my bumblebee

No words can describe my feeling now.
Ase nak nangis meraung.
ase nak pengsan.
ase tak bernafas seketika.

incik tunang called and bagitau somebody hit my car and blah.
yes! incik tunang yg bawak my car hari ni untuk pergi ke pej.agama islam.

i still remember i did a lil scratch on my car.
tak sengaja and its really minor. sangat minor sampai tak berapa nampak.
and i cried like hell and until today i always extra careful bila park my car.

and today....
-sigh-
perasaan sgt berbelah bahagi. he is my fiancee. dah tu takkan la saya nak marah and ketuk kepala dia plak kan?
dah tu bukannya dia purposely buat. org yg hit kan. luckily dia ingat no plat motor tuh.

but he told me the damage quite bad.
bumper jatuh sket scratehes and everything.
OMG! saya tak nak tengok.
else saya nangis air mata darah!!!

and tonight nak balik rumah.
sure my ayah tengok will membebel sampai kiamat tak stop.
my ayah is sumone yg super sayang kereta.
salu la membebel sebab saya tak basuh kete la.tak vacuum la.

and now what am i suppose to do?
kuarkan duit fix the damage?
arghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p/s: receive the very 1st wedding pressie from Aunt Mala. Super nice cloth for both of us untuk our raya.
wowww!! perfect gift. jimat duit saya nak raya nanti. weeeee...
suke..suke...

S.T.R.E.S.S.

I'm not 'myself' for the past few days.

seperti baru dikejutkan dari tidur yg panjang.

with two months to go.

part of me super excited but another half rasa numb, rasa nak nangis hysterically, rasa nak marah all the time!

i'm easily annoyed with things now.

and became super sensitive towards my fiancee.

sorry dear, i cant help myself.

from time to time saya rasa choked.

nak lari rasa tak cukup kaki je nak lari.

nak bernafas tetibe rasa dunia ni mcm tak cukup oksigen.

for god damn 2 more months to go and millions of to do list still yet to be completed.

until hari ni i had yet to decide to wear red, gold or champagne color for my reception shoe.

i'm blur and this weekend i suppose to send the pic to custom my shoe.

gler ase cm dh hampir menjadi tenuk dah ni.

i've downloaded zillion of wedding shuz and the worst part now is, 'saya tak tau yg mana satu'

but 60% saya rasa i will choose the gold colour.

reason yg pertama : sebab kalau merah..nampak cam sedondon dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki la plak. plus, red carpet tu merah. kang org tak dpt bezekan kapet dan kaki saya!!! hurmmm!! menchik!

reason kedua : beading my baju ada gold colour. also, sampin & tanjak incik tunang will be songket with red &gold combination nanti.

some gold colored shuz i heart!

shuz 1 : ohhh!! jimmy choo ini kelihatan elegant kan. simple so that in future leh pakai selalu. tak membazir. ingat tu!!

shuz 2: agak simple and nampak, so..so..simple

shuz 3 : Lagila sempoi and simple.

and i was thinking nak add something like this

and both incik tunang and i still havent go for HIV test. stress nye!

cmne nk blah time office hour and pergi wat HIV test? unfortunate for us yg bukan keje gomen.

and incik tunang in the other hand still in his super slow n steady mood which caused me heart attack setiap masa.

ayang dah call bank? (for our home loan issue)

ayang dah call untuk sewe kerusi meje tu?

ayang dah amik borang nikah?

ayang dah buat checklist untuk borang sokongan?

ayang dah call SP Fastprint? ->our wedding card vendor

ayang dah tanya umi pasal nak deco hantaran tuh?

ayang dah settlekan doorgift?

and all the 'ayang dah' punye soklan sentiasa mengiringi incik tunang.

i bet already fed up with such questions.

tapi nak wat cmne.

gender yg satu ini kene senantiasa di ingatkan. kene senantiase di checkkan his-to-do-list.

and tonight, i forced him to fill up the borang nikah walaupun i knew at that hour he just want to baring after penat2 kat opis.

dear, i'm deeply sorry. tapi nak wat cmne. kalau i tak force u, nanti u tak dapat kawen ngn i plak.

and he did learnt his lesson today (hopefully!). i told him to prepare all the wordings for his invitation card sebelum ni lagi. but its sound soooo ALIEN to him. 'banyak je words kat kedai tu. nanti i pilih la'

ok! fine. and end up today? saya dah suruh dia call the wedding card house untuk fax kan so that he could do the proof reading (my part dh settle ok!). and what his feedback? 'budak kedai tu kata dah try nak fax tapi takleh' and thats it?

OMG!! kenapa la lelaki ni kadang2 tak leh jadi cam pompuan. takleh jadi creative.

dah orang tu tak leh fax, bagi la alternative len.

saya sangat pissed off bile dengar tu -> told ya!! saya sangat easily annoyed kan sekarang?

i rang up the wedding card house. ask her to EMAIL directly TO ME!

see! in 15mins time i already received his wedding card copy.

kesalahan 1 : venue majlis yg dibubuh adalah alamat rumah padahal map dekat kad tu venue di dewan.

gler mau sakit jantung saya!!! adakah semua manusia di muka bumi ini hilang common sense?

straight away saya call. and bagitau dia alamat tu salah. yes we want to put alamat kediaman but its just a small portion dekat kad tu to inform people that we are staying at this address but though the wedding is at the dewan.

my card i could say 100% tepat. sebab they all copy je semua my instruction. wasnt it easy mcm tu?

kesalahan 2 : ejaan nama dalam kad and luar kad tak sama. leh plak kan? luar kad 'mohammad hafiz' dalam kad 'mohd hafiz'.

sekian sahaja luahan pada kali ini.

luahan hati seorang brides 2 be

Can i resign from my own wedding preparation? I’m tired and sick’s with all the wedding preparation. Mentally and physically exhausted. I love the preparation but yet at the same time i hate it. As the ticker getting closer to the wedding date, suddenly i felt like suffocated and chocked. I hate this. Damn hate this. Why i can’t just be like incik tunang? Cool and relax as if nothing to be bothered about? The wedding preparation had ruined my focus on my job as well. Browsing webs thinking of the pelamin, videographer etc. And above all, the worst part is, both i and incik tunang keep on arguing on the wedding favors and all the bende remeh-temeh and hell, it is s*cks!!! Wedding prep ni leh jd kan org separuh gile. Ade ke org msk tanjung rambutan sbb buat wedding prep? I’ll be the first then. How i wish incik tunang could understand me better during this crtitical period. If i could fire someone from my wedding preparation community, the 1st person would be my own incik tunang. Ahahhaha....(mintak ampun yang...ni propaganada semata-mata) Seriously, his progress for the whole wedding stuff for his side is super relax. Unlike me! The wedding gap between my side and his side is only one week and he pretends as if the gap will be more than a month. So, sememangnya saya, when it comes to the no-plan-or-i’m-not-sure situation, saya akan diserang satu penyakit ala-ala lembu gila yg dpanggil panicked attack. So, bile penyakit ajaib ini muncul, tentunya incik tunang yg akan jadi bahan dan mangsa leteran. Conclusion? We will end up arguing and bila dh incik tunang malas nak dengar, he will just said “em..ok la..buat je la mcm u cakap”. Ok!!! Jawapan yg sgt tak membantu. Yg sgt tak constructiveapekah betul ayat ini? Saya sangat marah. Marah with the everything. And at this point of time, how i wish i could postpone my wedding date. Saya sgt demotivated with the whole things. Pls somebody help me and ‘kutip’ me from drowning in the drain. I need all the help and motivates in the world so that i can cope with my wedding prep. The worst part about my wedding itself is..........the wedding is the day before the valentine. And guess what? All the fresh flower could hit 3x higher than usual price. Apekah ini? Nooooooooo!!!! I hate artifical flower.