tears...tears..please go away.

It’s been a year plus and almost the same age of our marriage.


Where, we are living sorang utara sorang selatan.

Alhamdulillah, throughout this one year plus, we never failed even a single weekend not being there for each other accompany.

The 4hrs drive, or maybe 6-7hrs bus ride, the 45mins plane ride *and also come with the package of the overpriced air ticket* and the 10hrs train ride.

You named it! We use all kind of transportation medium every single weekend to commute utara- selatan.

And still, I do cry on every Sunday night, missing my other half. Have to reset my brain over and over again that I’ll be sleeping alone that night and the whole weekdays until Friday is here.

Ill collected all his cloth that he had been using through the weekend, even his boxer and arrange nicely next to me on the bed. So that I could sleep imagining he is there, right next to me and his sweet body odor will accompany my good night sleep.

It’s painful and stressful experienced. Countless pray and wish every single day hope it would end in real soon so the weekend pain will go away and I don’t have to go through it again.

I wanted badly to resign and move back to north, but hubby is not 100% happy with that decision.

I fully understood his concern. Financial! i knew he still can pay the bills, feed me with makanan yang menggemokkan even if I quit my job, but living in the cruel world, and single income in the family will be definitely a burden.

We had long way to go. The house, the kids education savings *yes, you had to plan ahead even if you yet to have the little one*, the yearly vacation, the unexpected expenses, the yearly car insurance and road tax, the car need to send for service, the house furniture and the list goes on and on.

I don’t want end up with the job that I don’t like to do. It’s like a force labor. Macam buruh pembinaan indon di paksa bekerja di pusat kecantikkan ok!

And also, I don’t want end up with job where the salary is lesser than what I currently earned *did I mention the new increment from my current company is pretty awesome and irresistible?*. When you jump to a new company with less salary than what you currently earn, it will takes you like 1-2 years down the road to get back the salary that you previously enjoyed. So, please do the math.

Orang tua-tua kat kampong I selalu cakap “when poverty knocks on the door, love flies through the window”. Eh biasala, kampong I kat Scotland. Orang tua-tua punya bidalan semua cenggini. So I don’t want our love flies through that stupid window.

Jadi harus cekal kan hati.

Hopefully we are tough enough to going through just another year being apart from each other company on weekdays. Bear with all the extreme fatigue due to the long hour travelling on weekend, stubborn tears which still insist to showing off himself on Sunday night and to deal with the heart wrenching moment when we need to wave good bye to each other when weekend is over.

Sobsobsob..oh tears, please go away. I need all the courage in the world to go through this every week.