Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Against my own 23rd birthday!!!

Since when this birthday thing is such a big deal? Who said we NEED to celebrate the birthday thing? why birthday is much more special than any other day? why u didnt feel as happy as your birthday during raya time? so typical kan birthday thing ni? bingung...benci...bengang... saya jarang menulis entri di kala hati tidak keruan. sangat piss off sampai tidak terluah. how i wish today is not my birthday!! how i wish today is 2-3days earlier than my birthday. i hate with what just happened today. (except the celebration yg my dept buat td) MY birthday dinner? saya makan maggi. by the way maggi tu sedap jugak tau. buat sendiri. teringta plak makan maggi time blaja. yummy2...dgn perut yg lapar, saya pun makan dgn rakusnya "aik..birthday pun makan maggi je ke?" aiseh...housemate saya ni saja je nak buat saya tersentuh perasaan kan? and again, air mata yg sgt gedik ini menitis and menitis. so..thats it. makan half way and the rest buang... tak selere nak makan. try to chill out. since maxis bagi sms 2days earlier yg i can call maxis to maxis for free today, so i decided nak call frens yg pakai maxis. shit kuasa 8!!! found out that maxis still deduct my credit!!! bongok punye maxis. its my birthday and its such a nightmare. then i call maxis. the perkhidmatan pelanggan guy ask me to call in an hour. nice malay guy!! after an hour...call up again. talked to this indian guy. sgt baek. wah...siap wish birthday and nyanyi lagu birthday utk saya. sgt terharu. this guy he doesnt even kenal pun sapa saya. called up my incik hafiz. another stupid fight. and i reached to the max. i cant help myself. i know sometime i just overreacted or maybe just terlebih sensitive. but hey, remember saya ni anak bongsu. i dint ask you to treat like a princess. cant you do something special on my special day? such as ajak makan kat kedai kak wan pun im fine ok? sorry if i blew out your plan nak bawak i gi dinner at the Tower. but its on saturday!!! my birthday is not on saturday!!! my birthday is TODAY!! cant you be more sensitive about my feeling too? try not to be too demanding but i cant help myself. i still remember the 1st time i cried on my birthday. time tu around 7yrs old. i asked something for pressie from my dad. and you know dad kind of thing, saja je cakap tak leh padahal nak bagi kan? then i thought it would be the last time and happen NOT!! on my 23rd birthday saya lebih banyak menangis and memendam perasaan. i dont care and dont mind kalu u baca this entry. what i wrote here is what i felt NOW!!! sangat marah sampai saya tak leh nak type coz asyik nangis je dari tadi. takut jadi kassim selamat so i decided to stop writing! i miss mama and i miss ayah!!! plan nak balik my hometown as soon as possible. kalau boleh rasa nak beli je ticket flight balik esok pagi. but then tomorrow nak kerja. received a phone call. tak kenal number sapa. confuse!! oh! the indian maxis guy. he called me. using his personal number? shit!! saya rasa dia dengar conversation saya dgn hafiz. asked what im doing on my birthday nite and bla..bla..bla.. he is such a nice guy. hey! im not flirting here. saya masih tahu my limit anyway. and his intention is to cheer me up on my birthday night! anyway i'm sick of this birthday thing! hope tonight will be over secepat yang mungkin. just one final birthday wish -> from now on, saya takkan terlalu mengharap on my birthday!! hope next year my biggest birthday pressie is not my air mata okay or will it happen again? Kalau u rasa nak rosakkan hari org itu sekali pun, please dont do it on that person punya birthday date. its much more painful dari kena tikam. something i consider as unforgivable and unacceptable. p/s: incik hafiz..thanks for the flowers yg u sent ptg td.


syahirah said... [Reply to comment]

we celebrate our own 23rd birthday in our sweetest ways - being alone.

janganlah sedih.kan kita dah besar


amy hazwani said... [Reply to comment]

sangat tidak dapat menerima hakikat okeng!!!
ntah la, maybe aku ni yg too sensitip.
and still air mata ni gedik nak bergenang2 time kat opis sekarang


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