weight vs diet!

i'm fat!!! yup....totally fat. i mean, not as fat as Syanie tapi still plus size! a bit chubby got additional spare tyre (seriously!!! its really a nightmare). I used to be so skinny during my chilhood time. i bukan la lahir2 je besar. plus, my family sume kuruih2. my sis weight just 39kg when she got married and now only 41kg. can u imagine she is just 41kg? she already have three kids ok. so i sgt JEALOUS with her! she can ate anything and tak perlu rasa guilty about that. And me? ok, i notice berat i naik since i in form 4. tak la naik mendadak but naik sket2 and lama jadi tembam. hikhikhik... time kat uni bdn i mcm yoyo. sekejap turun, sekejap naik. ye la, time study byk berjln & berjimba2 dgn kwn2. so bdn pun mcm yoyo. And now? i consider this is as my nightmare sepnjng usia i 23thn. iya! berat bdn saya telah naik mendadak sebyk 7kg. saya ulang sekali lagi, 7kg semenjak saya bekerja. oh tidak!!!!!!!! Now i have 23days to go before my engagement. shit! i kene nmpk cantik which mean kalau nak nampak cantik anda kena kurus ->definition by semua makhluk dunia di mana cantik adalah apabila anda mempunyai badan ramping seperti KERENGGE atau seramping BIOLA. Adakah org gemuk/plus size tidak cantik? err...mungkin wajahnya cantik atau mungkin dia benar2 cantik pada hakikatnya tp di sebabkan plus size matter dia no longer consider as cantik. DISKRIMINASI! yup..kesian pada insan2 yg plus size mcm saya! ok, i know i tak cantik (wajah ok) tapi bukan ku pinta untuk jd plus size. i'm still can fit size M or L. My BMI is still NORMAL but actually it doesnt seems NORMAL when u wear M or L. u only NORMAL in the other people eyes if u wear XS or S. PATHETIC!!! Bukan i mintak bdn plus size cmni kan. My incik Hafiz never complain about my weight. He said size doesnt matter and die cakap for him my size normal. ok, itu die ckp sbb die my fiance-to-be. of course he does not want hurt my feeling. cube dia ckp right infornt my face "dear, i ase u gemuk la. u shud loose some weight" waaaa...mau i straight away terjun dr my office building. huhuhuhu.... 1) Diet Seperti biasa solution yg biase kte dengar anda perlu berdiet. jgn mkn bla..bla..bla.. i noe, ade 2 org teman baek saya An*e & B*zl* telah avoid utk memakan nasik utk sekian lama and both of them tlh berjaya to loose some pounds. me & nasik? oh, saya sgt pure melayu. its running in my blood vessel. i ase i kuar2 je dr perut my mama i already ask for nasik!! susah =( 2) Exercise Ha? ape die? Exercise? ulang balik sekali lagi EXERCISE? god!!! ini adalah perkara paling torture dalam hidup. oh my god! saya tidak akan mendera diri saya. tidak sama sekali! saya sgt menyayangi badan saya sama seperti saya sayang nyawa saya. exercise adalah satu jenis penderaan terhadap tubuh. oh, saya tidak akan membiarkan bdn saya berpeluh2 and kepenatan disebabkan exercise, berpeluh tak seksi okay! (mcm la gemuk tu seksi kan?). But i hate exercise so much. last nite i had this conversation dgn incik hafiz. so, i was thinking nak ke gym. even though my office ade gym yg u boleh attend at anytime, but for me, kalau i byr bru i ase terpkse pergi else i tak kan pergi coz i tak rase membazir. leh tak camtu? so, bg memastikan bdn i kuruih nk mampus time kawen nnt by this June i akan mula mendera diri ini. maaf kan saya incik tubuh! bukan iat di hati membuat begitu. tetapi anda sgt tidak cooperative dlm membantu saya membuang lemak di bdn. pls..pls..pls...doakan i manage utk pergi everyday kerana saya akan membayar sejumlah wang yg agak besar di fitness centre tersebut. 3) Lippo suction. Skip!! not going. takut mati & tak mampu nak bayar 4) Slimming Center Saya ingin pergi! ingin pergi sama sekali! but gaji saya belum rm4k utk membenarkan saya pergi. maafkan saya london weight management. maafkan saya slimming sanctuary. saya telah gagal meng"kaya"kan anda semua. Nak nampak CANTIK, anda kena kuruih. Itulah hakikatnya... sgt sedih!!!