Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dilemma?

I hate myself when i need to choose between two.
between having handbag in purple colour or red colour.
or between to choose skincare cap ayam or cap kambing
or between staying at home or out for cuci mata+wallet

i hate it soooo badly.
i always wish i could have both.
can i have both?

the longest dilemma ever i have to think about is when i need to decide to accept this new job over my husband. eh! bukan over my husband. between kot. *ada beze ke?*
but of course, career and husband is something uncomparable. giler kau!! mana sama. jauh beze.

today, another dilemma came and knocks my door. tak mo bukak pintu but i have too T_____T

mama call up and mention about to carik kain baju melayu for my ayah, angah and abang.
last year, i am the one who accompany my mama to hunt for it. mama a bit fussy when it comes to 'pakaian' *bukan pakaian je, semua bnde kot dia fussy*
she is not the kind of person aci rembat je kain for baju melayu even tough she knew that my bro will only use it once in a blue moon je sebaik sahaja selepas hari raya pertama. but still mama cakap "biar mahal asal selese. sebab dieorg bukan beli bajur kurung banyak2 pasang mcm kita"
yes! and the only place yg mama boleh jumpa kain idaman for the baju melayu hanyalah di GUlatis or Euro Moda to be exact kat Jalan TAR. Gulatis tempat lain dia kata tak banyak pilihan.
Furthermore, there will be a wedding on this sunday. anak kawan my mama yg kahwin. of course, she need to attend the wedding. but since my father have course to attend (some sort like certificate by UM since beliau pencen) on Sunday, he cant make it to the wedding and yes!! mama tak tau nak pergi dengan sapa.

hubby in the other side kena standby this week *again*.
which mean ye, saya kena pulang ke Kulim *again* weekend ini.
i told hubby to switch dengan his fren and blablabla.. but still he insist. sebab he said dia dh banyak kali sangat asyik tukar2.
saya : then macam mana? tak jumpa ke weekend ni?
hubby : hmm..takpelah. jumpa next weekend.

gosh!! mudahnya kamu cakap begitu ye sang suami. nak tercabut jantung dengar. and again my tears dengan gatalnya keluar dan keluar dan keluar. straight away letak telefon without saying goodbye.
i was hoping dia akan beralah and balik sini.

next weekend wedding cousin hafiz and jiran belakang my mom house pulak.
dah tu tak de dah masa nak teman mama ke KL.
the next weekend nye pulak wesak day. yep! kne balik kulim lagi. T_______T

life wasnt that easy huh?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

few attempts and failed.
why i keep on writing something to be posted here and half way, menemui jalan buntu. sangat buntu sehingga hampir ke bontot.

rindu sama cik blog. kerja seperti biasa menimpa saya dengan banyak. nasib saya ini gagah perkasa seperti incredible hulk. saya biarkan saja. sungguh. tak tipu. saya belek2 kerja2 yang telah dinobatkan kepada saya seperti mereka nobatkan Miss Universe itu. sungguh banyak. setiap hari memang sentiasa banyak. kau tidur di opis pun belum tentu mampu settlekannya. production running 24jam. what to expect rite? kamu kerja hanya 9.5hrs tak termasuk masa kamu curik tulang membeli barangan secara online, berlenggang kangkung ke surau, pergi ke koperasi tatkala merasa lidah perlu sesuatu yang manis. juga extra masa untuk break time.
maaf. saya memanfaatkan my break time. both breakfast and tea break saya tidak ke cafe. tetapi saya menjamu mata melihat jualan secara online. ya! menjamu mata sehingga duit di dalam maybank saya telah kempis seperti mengambil jamu susut perut.
blame to the maybank2u!!!!

going off to singapore next week for business trip. gembira bukan? but..but...its only one day trip! keji nye mereka. tak nak bagi saya tidur sana. oh! tak sempat nak berbelanja besar (walhal duit telah nyawa-nyawa ikan).
i have kegilaan yg baru.
yakni kegilaan terhadap bulu mata pellllsssuuuuuu.
oh mengapa dan mengapa.
currently i owned 2pairs of bulu mate pelsuuuu from stage. heh! terpengaruh dengan my MUA- Lan.
i bajet Rozita Che Wan la konon.
bought few additional pairs. 7 pasang kesemuanya. dan the falsie applicator. lepas ini memasang bulu mata pelllsuuu semudah satu dua tiga.

last weekend went out for shopping with hubby. biasa la, being me sentiase mencari alasan untuk membeli baju baru. haruslah kan? kerja hari2. dah tu jemu la nengok baju same je kan?
i went to cosmetics section. i alwaaaysss love mascara. ntah la ape kene. i owned more than 7tubes. but my most fav so far haruslah DIOR SHOW.
while i belek2 the mascara, hubby said : "takyah la..dah banyak dah"
-sigh-
tak sukenye! memang la dah byk. tapi nak lagi. dan lagi dan lagi.
went to another side. and ehem...found the BB Cream mcm bace kat forum.
nope! not that expensive type of BB Cream yg berharga ratusan ringgit. yg itu harus dibentangkan dlm belanjawan june nampaknya. its a HEME BB Cream cost around rm80 je.
sangat tergoda sebab tengok that SHE pakai ni and muke nampak flawless giler babeng (or mmg kulit dia flawless dah?)
then hubby said  "kalau yang ni nak beli takpe. takyah la beli yg panjang2 bulu mata tu"
panjang2 bulu mata? yepp! he is referring to mascara.
waahhaha..tapi dia tak cakap tak leh beli bulu mata pelllsuuu. plus, ia dibeli secara online. wahahhaha....

i miss hubby. ye ye.. saya tahu. kamu sudah jelik mendengarnya.
pasti sudah hampir vomit blood tatkala perkataan MISS itu keluar.
meh ko kahwin then duduk jauh2 dulu. baru tau apa yg sedang saya rasakan *poyo*
i know we were lucky that we still can meet each other over the weekend. walaupun beratus kilometre harus ditempuhi bukan.
compare dengan those yg hanya berjumpa sebulan sekali ke, beberapa bulan sekali ke, setahun sekali ke. tapi nak juga cakap saya rindu suami saya.
by now, i already can accept the fact that yep, 5days je pun then we will unite again. *tapi masih gak nangis*
part of me i knew that this will be for lonnnngggg period of time. yes,excatly! hubby didnt show any sign of moving here. to south. nope!
not even applying for any job. can you believe that?
i've cried few times due to this but at the end of the day i came to realize.
i cant force him to move here.
he had been soooooo supportive by allowing me move down here to south.
for the sake of the salary, career development and future of our family.
but i never tried to understand what he wanted in his career. he loves his job that for sure.
but above all, he lovesss his current company.
i told him like millions of time that he should move his bump and work elsewhere.
but still. he insist.
yes. i'm proud of him for what he already achieved. its not easy for those kulit sawo matang to reach that level. ini bukan racist ya. when all kulit putih dan mata kurang bulat is always the center of attention and ALWAYS got promoted (yes! now it does sounds like racist), those kulit sawo matang is hard to be in any level or promoted. unlike him i must said.
hubby sangat hardworking. darah dan daging hubby sudah seperti kepunyaan pihak syarikat.
ahhahaha..i called him goldfish. he is such a goldfish to his previous manager.
incik david sangat sayang sama kamu ya suami? saya cemburu!
it will tough for hubby to move to another company. he is IN the comfort zone i must say.

but still.
part of me. the teeny weeny part still tried to convince that hubby akan pindah.
ia...satu hari nanti. masih berharap.

sooo excited with the coming Hari Raya *walaupun puasa ganti tak habis lagi*.
1st time beraya as a wifey. excited you!
baju raya telah di buat beberapa pasang. ahahahha... melepas gian. sebab last raya buat 3helai je kan. time tu kumpul duit nak kawen.
heading to dzul classique after office today. hantar baju melayu sang suami utk dijahit dan ambil baju raya saya yg telah siap.
few other baju kurung at another tailor yg telah di hantar tempah seawal april.
jangan tak tahu noks, tailor sudah mula stop tempahan. habisla dik non dik non takde baju raya nanti.
ngeh..ngeh..ngeh...

Friday, April 30, 2010

jauh ke dekat ke bagus?

Its Friday again everyone!!!

the first thing i told myself lepas terjaga dengar bunyi alarm clock adalah : "eh, sayang balik hari ni".
zupppp! terus bangun. ye saya tau! walaupun sayang saya sampai malam nanti, but still la kan hari ini.
teruja nya nak jumpa. setiap minggu pasti begini. sangat teruja. rasanya nak cepat2 malam.
this week hubby akan stay until monday night. ya! hubby company which also my ex-company ada replacement cuti labour day. so unfortunate untuk saya sebab my new company pulak cuti rakyat atau public holiday atau cuti-cuti malaysia yang jatuh pada sabtu/ahad takde replacement *nyampah!*
maybe for this week, tragedi air mata ahad akan ada siaran langsung tertunda ke hari isnin pula ye.

last night berjimba2 dengan cik ilmi dan incik mozac. ilmi oustation ke seremban. we had our lunch and sebelah malam plak kiteorg gi Karok. goshh! mish that time muda mudi remaja kat Uni dulu.
pergi karok almost every week. org lain sibuk main bowling, kteorg karok bagai nak rak.
pastu gelak gler dengar masing2 nyanyi. nak2 kalau wawa join,  pastu lagu dipilih semua lagu tahap lentok macam nak menari inang pulak.



*ilmi tengah layan lagu siti nurhaliza. pasni nak tukar nama dari siti nuur ilmi ke siti nurhaliza la kot*


for the first time, i reallllly had fun since i move in to seremban. by the way, seremban is not that bad. its just saya tidak lagi mempunyai kawan selain sang teman lelaki cik ilmi which also one of my bestie dr zaman uni, Incik Mozac yg suke buli orang itu!

few nights ago time buhsan2, i rang up my old fren dari zaman persekolahan.
biase la. buhsan hubby gi main futsal pastu tak tau nak gayut dengan sapa. My mama pergi surau, my mak uda plak pergi hantar anak tuition (dua orang makluk bumi yang saya bergayut almost every day selain dengan sang suami).

after bertanyakan isu-isu semasa yang terjadi seperti, ape citer ko sekarang? bile ko nak kahwin? (haruslah kan?antara geng2 atau teman-teman seangkatan, saya je antara golongan terpilih kahwin awal.orang lain masih bujang/dara).

kawan : eh mi, ko tak takut ke duduk jauh2 mcm ni? kang laki ko carik lain baru tau.

oh! kenapa ramai sangat orang dalam planet yang bernama bumi ini selalu tanya saya soalan cepu emas yang kadang2 saya rasa nak cepuk je si penanya soalan.
fren, saya tidak marah kamu. saya paham. ini adalah soalan lazim if you are part of the community yang bernama Komuniti Masyarakat Melayu yg hidup Majmuk di bumi Malaysia.
kenapa asyik kena pikir laki carik lain?
yes i admit it. biasa la kan zaman sekarang. suami carik lain. kalau tak suami  carik lain, isteri tu sendiri carik lain. mintak simpang la dari jadi kepada saya. doa bebanyak la tak jadi.
but my 2cent is simple.
kalau our partner nak carik lain, regardless of dia duduk dekat ke, jauh ke, depan mata ke, melekat dengan badan kita macam kembar siam ke, still jugak dia boleh carik lain.
pernah dengar pepatah "nak seribu daya, taknak seribu dalih".
kalau dah nak tu. segala ribuan. jutaan, trillion excuses la dia boleh buat. and who are you stop it from happen? memang semua orang tak nak. semua orang nak elakkan ia dari terjadi. so do i.
but kita bukan tuhan nak control semua benda tu dari terjadi kan?
the bottom neck is, niat!
kalau dah partner kita tu dah ada niat. ko buat camne pun still tak leh halang.

saya : hurm...ntah la. aku asa tu semua bergantung pada niat dia kot. kalau dah dia memang nak, jauh ke,dekat ke,depan mata ke, dia nak buat, dia buat juga. dah tu ko nak aku bagi dia nasik kangkang ke?

*wesh...part nasik kangkang tu gurau je. giler ape nak buat. tak cium bau syurga baru tau. kang jadi muka burok mcm cerekarama yg fasha sandha berlakon tuh*

kawan : tak la...kalau ko duduk jauh. lagi la menggalakkan dia. dia ada freedom nak buat.

freedom? and again. pls define freedom? kalau sang isteri duduk rumah jadi housewife mengadap dapur masak, mengadap anak2, sambut suami di muka pintu setiap hari, tapi kalau suami tu nak curang, sebelum balik kerja dia boleh je menyimpang ke tempat lain bukan? ada isteri tahu? kalau suami claim dia pergi outstation sedangkan dia pergi berfoya-foya kat tempat lain, ada isteri tahu?

the key word here is loyal and trust. kalau dah partner kita takde one of this means fullstop.

another friend of mine, ya seorang lelaki. which also cum my ex-colleague in my prev company. he said that "friendfinder tu la merosakkan relationship. sebab ko tak trust partner ko".

ok fine! pada siapa yang tak tahu friendfinder itu : friendfinder merupakan sebuah perisian sistem maklumat ringkas (sms) yang membolehkan orang lain untuk mengetahui lokasi kita berada tanpa diketahui oleh orang yang kita check tu. tapi ni upon approval dari orang yg kita nak check tu la kan.

maybe this guy was right. trust the partner bukan? tapi for me tak salah juga nak check.
coz sometime perlu juga check on our partner. bukan bermaksud kita tak trust him/her tapi langkah berjaga-jaga juga sama penting. sometime friendfinder really helps mcm bila call2 sang partner plak tak angkat telefon. biasa la, syaitan durjana akan menghasut. dalam hati akan berbisik "eh, dia ni pergi mana. ntah-ntah......" use friendfinder. mana la tau dia kat umah tapi tertidur and tak dengar bunyik phone. dia mandi ke. dia main futsal tak habis lagi ke. kang tak pasal2 perang dunia ke lapan juta plak.
same goes to her/his handphone. check je all those messages or phone call. kalau takde rahsia, sure takde hal la nak selongkar.
to prevent is better than to cure ->apekah? berkaitan ke? nak jugak bubuh! tak kire.

saya : ntahla.. susah nak kata. ko kahwin la dulu baru kau tau.

by the way, saya mula enjoy moment sebagai wanita single di hari bekerja. i mean, u have enough space nak settlekan keje2 opis tanpa memerlukan daya fikiran dan tenaga extra untuk pulang memasak, mengemas rumah, do groceries seperti wanita bekeluarga yang lain.
ahahhaha..saya memang pemalas. tapi still, takleh lawan penangan bersuami setiap hari. kerana ia lebih membahagiakan. ada paham?
kata kan TAK NAK PADA HUSBANDLESS atau PERKAHWINAN JARAK JAUH!
 

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