DILEMA

Oh.. i received a very very good news pagi ini.
Regarding interview yang i attend itu.
Alhamdulillah! i manage to get the job. rezeki orang kahwin la katekan.

but....
but.....but....
but.....but....but....

the job is in seremban which mean miles away from Kulim.
it was like almost 4hrs drive to seremban from kulim.
still can accept huh?
and my hubby is right here in Kulim!!!
OMG!
saya totally rasa serba salah.
i will not be right by my hubby side.
i will miss him soooo much.
i dont mind to take flights/bus/train/drive all the way to Kulim weekly.
but...
but..but...
can you imagine my night without him?
can u imagine my morning without his morning kiss?
dinner without him?
even lunch without him?
amik ko aimi. ha..tu la.. dari before kahwin sampai dah kahwin.
asyik berkepit je ngn laki saya. dah satu office kan.
sampai2 office je terus IM dengan laki sendiri.
yela..lain department kan. harus lah IM tu wajib ada.

and now?
oh nooo... saya tahu sang suami berjanji akan menyusul kemudian.
tapi..
tapi....
tapi bila?
he doesnt even apply for it yet.
ok fine! esok lusa dia apply la kan.
dah tu, bila pulak dia boleh move to seremban kan?
dah tu dapat ke terus job tu kan?
ok, kalau tak seremban pun, selangor still acceptable. so do melaka.
tapi... when??????

I'm really looking forward nak dapat kerja baru.
much more better sallary.
of course la kan. mane ada org jump kerja gaji lagi sket kan (ade la kot, tapi kes2 terpencil).
i need gaji yang lebih banyak.
not because i tak bersyukur, but look at us.
baru kahwin kan. then need to think about our family future.
yelah, esok, lusa tulat insyallah lah Allah bagi anak.
dah tu nak anak nak kena beli itu ini, nak secure anak punya education fund etc.

haizz...
dilema bukan sahaja berhenti di takat itu.
juga...
i need to report duty ASAP.
means that..erm...saya kena kerja di tempat baru by end of THIS MONTH!
gila kau..
ok, dieorg sanggup byr 2months sallary saya disini in advance.
tapi kan..
tapi kann...
cmno tuh? nak jawab apa dengan bos sekarang? gulp!
risau nye daku.

OMG! nak trime salah, nak tolak pun salah.

Dari,
Isteri orang yang bermasalah nak buat keputusan.

Ha-ni-mu-nan Episode 1.

Its Saturday again.
Ohh...sang suami terpaksa bekerja hari ni.
sedihnya...
we are suppose to go to Ipoh untuk attend wedding relative sang suami.
and we are suppose to overnight there.
suddenly sang suami bagi tau yesterday, he have to work pulak hari ni.
oh sedihnya...

Baru sahaja selesai masak lunch.
of course masakan yang super express. seperti masak sphagetti.
kejap lagi sang suami pulang untuk makan.

Last night saya gi farewell party one of my colleague, Mui Yee. The farewell party kat TGI Fridays Qnsbay.
Oh my.. my allergies does killing me.
did i mention about my allergic yg menggila mengikut saya selama 2 minggu ini?
the worst allergies yang pernah saya alami.
it was itchy all over my body.
doc pun tak tau saya allergic kat apa. u name it. setiap makanan yg saya makan akan wat saya gatal2 and bengkak2 gatal satu badan. oh..even my lips akan bengkak mcm Angelina Jolie ok.
it was weird...from seafood, ayam, telur, daging. semua akan buat saya gatal.
the worst is, bila nak masakkan untuk sang suami, time menumis bawang, it was hell gatal ok!
and the bengkak2 and gatal2 tak kuar 24hrs but selang few hrs dia kuar. it was weird. and keluar sket2 macam gigit nyampuk. then lama2 ia bengkak and bercantum and menjadi satu bengkak yg sangat besar.
sebebsar tapak tangan.
rasanya? ya allah..gatal and merenyam tak terkata.

Excited sangat nak wat wedding entry lagi. but unfortunately pic belum diambil dari Official Photographer.
Once dah amik nanti, akan saya buat entry wedding sampai lebam. sampai korang semua muntah nak baca.
ehehehhe...

Let me start with our honeymoon trip ke Bali yang tak seberapa itu.
ehehehe....

OK, why we choose Bali? 1st of all sebab saya rasa Bali is such a romantic island.
Initially kiteorg plan nak ke Boracay. But the island is way too far and kena banyak kali tukar flight.
plus it was somewhere in the middle of nowhere and risau takde halal food.
and of course, the $$$ constraint la kan? duit dah banyak spend on the wedding, so afraid we dont have enough $$$ for the honeymoon kat tempat2 camtu.

Then, Krabi? kami dah pergi Krabi before. it was superb but, of course tak nak pergi lagi kan.
ahhahaha...
By the way, Bali pun my second trip as well. But Bali is different. Bali banyak tempat to be discovered.
During my last trip, saya lebih banyak spend dekat Kuta which is the center of Bali.
However, this time is different, we want to spend time dekat tempat yang lebih peaceful so that we both can spend time together (thats what honeymoon for right?)

We bought the tix somewhere in October. Actually we bought the tix earlier than that sebelum ni.
However since my wedding date berubah from Jan to Feb and the tix is somewhere in Jan, tix itu kire burn je la.
then bought anothe rtix. its not the AA 'zero ringgit promo' sebab dah abes dah time tu. so we bought tix with the cost of ~rm500 pergi balik for two. consider cheap la jugak kan?

and thanks to TA, sebab kiteorg telah memilih hotel based on the web rank.
we dont want to take package deal sebab kteorg nak more like free & easy.
we did hire pak supir cum travel guide. He is a muslim and sangat baik orangnya.
we already book him two months before the honeymoon so that he can bring us around the island and sightseeing based on our schedule.

PNG - KUL - DNP : Bali day 1.

March 02, 2010.

We took the earliest flight from Penang to Kuala Lumpur. Actually our flight suppose to be at 11am.
Tapi biasa la, AA kan, suka suki tukar masa flight kteorg. so our flight seawal jam 0700pagi.
Kiteorg dua bangun as early as 5am. sebab nak kena ke airport penang kan. haruslah awal.

We touch down at LCCT at 8.40am. Giler bapak awal kan. Our next flight ke Denpasar at 5pm.
korang bayangkan. separuh hari tu.
we decided to check in. OMG! counter check in hanya di buka 3hrs prior flight time. dengan beg2 yg banyak tu, kteorg ke tempat simpanan barang di bahangian ketibaan domestik LCCT tu. per bag rm20. !@#$%^&
mahal nye...

Our initial plan nak ronda2 kat KL. but rasa mcm exhausted je nak ronda, kteorg heading to my Mak Uda house at Serdang. at 3pm, my cuzzie aka our pengapit during my wedding with his gf,Alia also our pengapit drop us off at LCCT.

The flight from LCCT to Denpasar, Bali took around 3hrs. Gler buhsan dalam flight time tu. Buhsan tak terkata. and i'm starved. ahahahah....
biasa la tu kan, bila naik flight and bau makanan haruslah tergoda baunya.
and most of the time kteorg tidur je.

touch down Denpasar airport at 8pm. sampai2 je Pak Supir dak tunggu. nama beliau tak ingat. boleh tak?
yang...ape name pak supir tu? his business card with sang suami. so, hanya sang suami je ingat nama dia.
 @#$%^& teruk la ko ni aimi.

Then kteorg terus straight away ke hotel yang telah di book saya.
This hotel located at Sanur area. around 40mins ride from the Airport. Sanur selalunya pilihan tourist from europe yg dah berumur. serious cakap, orang yg duduk kat hotel tu semua level nenek2 and atok2 ok.
and we choose Diwangkara Holiday Villa,Sanur.
why DIwangkara? my last trip to Bali pun i did stay at the same hotel. but the best thing about this hotel, its one of the hotel with HALAL food. mind you, sangat susah nak cari hotel with halal food kat Bali ok.
And as you know, Holiday Villa is owned by Malaysian kalau tak silap.
The hotel is nice. the room is awesome. and banyak swimming pool. at its REALLY by the beach. the hotel cafe is really kat pasir laut ok. and the beach sangat happening.
another best part about this hotel? i can receive wifi signal in my room. so still leh check fesbuk you!

Our room. a bit mess of course. and fav spot? berdua-duaan kat day bed.

At the hotel cafe having our breakfast sambil menikmati keindahan pantai. told you, memang dekat giler ngan laut. sampai tempat makan pun kat tepi pasir laut. and the last pic is gamba depan hotel.

Bali day 2.


March 03, 2010.


After breakfast, Pak Supir datang fetch us.
Aktiviti awal pagi adalah menonton Barongan dance.
Barongan dance salunye ada diawal pagi. few places yang ada performance Barongan Dance.
and of course, berbayar hokay. nothing free kan.
so kiteorg pergi ke Barongan performance paling dekat ngan our hotel. dalam 15mins drive.
Tak sama dengan tempat barongan dance yang saya pernah pergi dulu.
Entrance fees  Rp80,000.00/person ~RM29/person (our conversion rate time pergi adalah Rp1,000,000.00 = RM380.00).

Barongan dance is some sort like drama musical dance and of course la kan kire mcm culture dance.
You will be provided with pamphlet yg menceritakan tentang Barongan dance ni.

After the barongan dance, pak supir drop us at the Kuta. so, both hubby and saya pun merayap la sekitar Kuta.
Kuta ni kira beach area yang boleh surfing and hell packed dengan umat manusia.
especially tourist yg muda mudi yg spend masa siang surfing and night time clubbing, here is the rigt place utk mereka.
of course, kteorg tak ketinggalan untuk ke hard rock Bali. nope..bukan masuk dalam tu. just gi souvenir shop dia je. Total damage dekat Hard Rock souvenir shop ? ~ Rp 1,000,000.00.

what if??

Back at the office. kangen bangat sama kerusi empuk warna hitam ini.
juga keyboard HP yg telah menjadi bf kepada jari jemariku yg tembam mcm kaki ayam ni.
ohhh...rindunye bau office. eh bukan bau2 org2 kat ofis ni.
bau coffee pepagi hari. dah tu semua org kat ofis ni bukan coffee pepagi.

Malam tadi telah selamat tiba di Kulim setelah dijemput oleh sang suami di airport.
winduw kat sang suami tak terkata. 3 hari ok. 3 hari. uhhhh.... puas kiss pipi sang suami byk2 mcm kiss teddy bear.
lantak la orang kat kereta2 sebelah nak kata apa.
laki i hokayy..laki i.. halal pulak tu. ada aku kisah?


almost a month jadi sang isteri. wahh...rasa giler mulia je kedengaran ayat ISTERI tu.
ok, so much things to explore still.
walaupun kiteorg dah bercintan-cintun 1 yr plus before the wedding, but trust me, lelaki yg korang pandang sebagai boyfren ke...tunang ke...adalah lelaki yg lain bila korang pandang as suami.

oh suami...
ha..dah kahwin baru la tau macam mana perangai suami sebenar. tak semestinye negative kesemuanya. of course banyak jugak positive thing kan?
but boys will be boys. macam mana korang tengok abang or adik lelaki korang. plus minus je la tu dengan suami korang nanti.
sejuk jugak hati bila balik rumah, barang still in place. sang suami dah siap basuh and simpan baju-baju yang dipakai time honeymoon haritu.
air dalam hot dispenser dah berisi.
and above all, just dont expect sang suami boleh jadi multi talented and leh buat semua bnde mcm u all buat.
example;
1. simpan baju.
- dont expect sang suami leh simpan baju as neat as you all or gantung according to panjang pendek baju tersebut.
-bagi dieorg selagi baju itu berjaya disimpan dan bergantung tanpa membuatkan sang isteri membebel telah merupakan satu kejayaan yang amat besar sehingga patut diberi anugerah suami contoh.

2. basuh pinggan
- dont expect sang suami dapat membasuh pinggan dan susun dengan teratur macam korang buat. as long as pinggan dapat berbasuh dengan bersih dan cara menyimpan pinggan tu tak pernah dieorg kisah.
tunggang terbalik pun orite je. and sink tu kalau dah basuh pinggan tu mmg kompom la sabun2 yg tinggal tu takkan di bilas. so kena juga la sang isteri membuat final round untuk bilas.

so sang isteri, jangan jadi cerewet bila memintak sang suami tolong (saya la tu...)
alhamdulillah sang suami byk tolong kerja rumah so far. bab masak memasak..or jemur2 kain. boleh la di harap walaupun result tak seperti jangkaan. but still, the effort is there and sangat menghargainya..
tskk.tskkkk..tskk... (air mata terharu)

emosi saya masih kurang stabil. pemergian arwah iszam amat memberi huge impact dalam hidup saya.
i'm looking life in different perspective now.
saya lebih banyak berfikir sekarang. banyak tenggelam dengan fikiran sendiri.
all the 'what if' question pop up in my mind.

what if there is no more tomorrow for me?
what if saya dijemput tuhan terlebih dahulu?

what will happen to my hubby?
is he going to wake up by himself to the office?
did he still took hot bath in the morning? who is going to masakkan air for him?
did he still minum coffee before heading to office? who is going to iron his cloth?
who going to tidy up the house?
who going to hug him like teddy bear through out the night?
who going to kiss him all over his face?
did he knew how much i love him all this while?



what about mama?
remember saya pergi membeli sepatu utk interview?
mama went along with me.
after pilih kasut tak seberapa untuk interview, i asked mama untuk pilih any shuz for her.
and mama was like "eh..dapat bonus lagi ke?"
ok, this is not the 1st time pun i bought something for her since working.
but maybe she was a bit surpirsed sebab u just bought her a nine west handbag as my appreciation gift for helping me out with the wedding prep.
and i was like dalam hati, perlu dapat bonus ke baru nak belanja mama?
i am 24 years old now. someone wifey. and this is the only time saya perlu balas balik jasa mama.
kalau nak balas dengan wang ringgit memang takkan terbayar saya rasa.
what if tuhan ambil nyawa saya esok atau lusa?
what if saya pergi ketika masih muda macam arwah iszam?
adakah saya masih ada masa lain lagi nak belikan kasut untuk mama?
nak belikan mama baju?
nak belikan mama handbag lagi?


and all my friend, do you guys will miss me macam mana i miss arwah iszam?
would i will still remembered in a good way mcm arwah iszam and not in the hurmm..bad way?
like, miss how sweet my voice is (ahahahha...annoying kan?)
or how my presecence di rindui?

as time passed by, hubungan dengan kawan2 agak renggang.
masing2 sibuk dengan hidup.
phone call is less then masa belajar, so do sms. ah...
how i miss all of you....